To have it all
by Carottal
Summary: " I look at you as we are fighting. Only a name comes out of your lips. Hers. " An Ares fanfiction. Michael's thoughts during the fateful fight in volume 24. Obviously, spoilers for the first 24 volumes. Shounen ai: one sided MichaelxAres. Mentions of AresxAriadne. Rated for some very few curse words. My way of accepting it's finished.


_Hello, this is just a one shot I needed to do after finishing Ares. There's a second one coming soon.**  
**_

_Disclaimer: I don't own anything._

_Warning: One sided MichaelxAres, big mention of AresxAriadne, the F word appears once. Some very cheesy sentences. Big spoilers, set in volume 24._

_Enjoy_

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_**To have it all**_

I look at you as we are fighting. Only a name comes out of your lips. Hers. And as much as I hate it I know it's the only way to make you focus on me. To talk about her. But in some ways I'm happy. Because your sword, your incredible sword seems to avoid me so I know that you care. If only you could care as much as I did, as I still do. But since you saw her, I've known that this would never be true.

Remember this gem? Do you know how much it hurt to give it to you so you could give it to her? Do you know how it felt to help you get her?

_Only glory matters to me_

And can you imagine how it hurt to learn that you would see my attack, to see you stuck on that horrible cross and hope that you were all right? But of course you survived. You're you and I made damn right sure that you would.

I hope in my next life, if I have one, I could be your sheath. Hell, I already know the job! Do you remember when I would give you a sword? I remember each and every one of them. They are here clear in my mind. This movement is written in my body, my heart and my soul. That's why I also did it during this fight I had to see, the worst of my life, the only one where I couldn't marvel at your skills because I was supposed to be your enemy. But you had no more swords and I didn't think. I threw. And when I threw this sword, it felt right.

When I think of the first time I saw you, in this little inn, I want to laugh. Who would have thought we would be here, now, fighting for our death, well, for mine. Now that I think about it, this old woman knew. But I'm happy we didn't believe her, even if since then, I've had this feeling in my guts that something would happen. You know, I'm a liar. I could have known and somehow I've always known. Maybe not always but when I saw how much I cared for you, I should have known.

_Nothing but glory_

I think it's your skills that drew me to you. And that drew you to me. If not for her, maybe we would have… But what couldn't be done with an "if"? I could say I fell in love with your sword, heh! I'd love to say it, just to see your face. I wonder what Baroona would say too. I think he knew something. This guy has always been so perceptive and intelligent. It is funny how someone like him who never tries to go in the front light, manages to be seen. Quiet but always here. He fights and then he goes on. He talks little but when he does, everyone listen to him. He would make a great chief. I think when the three of us were seen people wouldn't understand why you were there. To the bystanders, Baroona was the one who matched my skills and personality. Lucky Barona knew better. Yes, he sure is a perceptive fellow.

Ah! I see it now, that look. My death will come soon. I know it. To think you're named after the god of war. When you had this look I've always thought that it was why your name suited you. But now that I'm the one you're giving it to, I must say it's not true. When you were jumping like a monkey to get to the top of this castle, when you fought against more than ten people at the same time, then no name could be better. But on a one to one, when you send this glare which is not really a glare, Hades, that's what I'd love to call you. Or that's what I'd call you, love? Fuck, I really need to die soon because I'm starting to become very cheesy. So you see, if I can't give you myself I'll give you my death. Because I want you to own me, some way or the other. I'm selfish but you are too, and that's a secret to nobody.

_ I have no choice_

I don't regret having chosen glory, on this foggy night so long ago, because regretting it means I would regret the time at the temple and I can't. So I don't really have regrets. You regret what could have been different. I didn't do anything to be born a prince and to become a king. I had no choice to start this war, well not really. I live for the glory, I'm a selfish man. My country wasn't happy. I had to do something. And maybe I have a case of bloodlust. You see, maybe that's why I couldn't understand Baroona as much as you. He is still human. He hates killing. He must be the most experienced one with death, horror, blood but he remained totally human. We are not. Of course we feel, we live and all that. But on the battlefield, we need the thrill and the blood.

This will be the last strike. And then, the mask will fall.

I'm a king, I can't do what I want. The king isn't human at all, he is a god. But when he dies, he is human again. I want to leave you in our human form. That's why we are away from the battlefield. I don't want you to fight a king. I want you to fight me. And from the moment I saw you fight in that inn, I've wanted to. And every time I saw you fight, my need to fight alongside with you and to fight you grew.

_Because I can't have anything else_

The floor is cold, your sword hurts like hell. Here we are, it's our farewell. Sorry, I won't help you with your revenge.

You know some people say that the one who loved us stay by our side. Others say it's the ones that left us with an unfinished matter. And some others say that the soul of a warrior stays with the sword that killed him. Well, it makes me 3 chances to stay by your side. Hopefully one of them is true.

But now is not the time to think about that. I'm dying. I have to tell you everything and I don't have time. I have to tell you so you can be happy and see her again, so you don't hate me. But you're crying now.

_But for everything,_

It's our last moment and it's the only time I can pretend I had it all.

"I don't regret starting a war or killing people, but I do regret dying by your sword when I see your crying face. It's my last journey, so send me off with a smile! Ares."

"Michael"

_Thank you._

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_AN: That's it. I hope you liked it. I don't have any expectation for any review as I know this fandom is not very developed but if you are reading this, it means you've read it (yes, very logical indeed!). Please leave a review so I know some people read it and I can better myself. I'm open to any criticism. And I'm not sure about the rating so... You shouldn't have read Ares if you're below 10 anyway!_

_Thanks for reading._


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